Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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