Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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