Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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