evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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