Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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