suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just want nice things and good sex
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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