Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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