Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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