Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
