a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
