it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
