Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
