All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
