remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize