you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
