The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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