So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.