i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things