Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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