Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your cock deserves a montage
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He has the fingertips of a God
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