I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Be still, my beating vagina.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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