1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
They have beer where we have blood.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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