don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
