This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
