I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
