Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
