Just cropdusted the office
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How external is "for external use only"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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