i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
