Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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