If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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