I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
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What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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