i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
