I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
