making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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