She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
