never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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