My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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