your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
