I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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