Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
