there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
