where am i from again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
