Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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