I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can you bring me the toilet please
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
