I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
