One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize