Just cropdusted the office
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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