what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
