i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
