I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
