What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize