Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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