Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
