i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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