Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize