There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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