WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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