We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
